June 10th, 2018

God has both designed and used the nuclear family to be the building  block/foundation of every society and generation around the world from the beginning of time - and so we’d do well to learn from this.

When families don’t remain together or are unhealthy, then societies are often unhealthy and so are our churches, which is why this is such an important subject for us here today.

There is no perfect nor ideal family; in fact all of us are far from it, as we see time and again in Scripture.

This doesn’t mean that if you’re not married or if you don't have a family, or if you suffer from a broken family, that you’re a sort of second class citizen in the Kingdom, which isn’t true at all.

If you’re single and are serving the Lord well, then I believe there’s a good biblical argument to be made for you being a very first class citizen in the Kingdom, as you can serve the Lord more fully.

Many in every generation (including the media and social media, which can tend  to perpetuate things), continue to downplay marriage and the nuclear family, which goes against God's design for healthy societies by and large, in that many people will likely get married and have a family; and so we need to understand God's design and purpose in all of this.

Many are moving away from traditional marriage to live together or to have children together, while some are also attempting to redefine marriage and family from an extremely secular point of view, which is very dangerous and even destructive whenever we break away from the Master Plan regarding such matters. 

Online research has indicated that the global marriage rate has been declining slightly from 69% in 1970, to 64% in 2020.

We should have a Biblical understanding and premise that for many, if not most (especially as Christians), God would have us to be married and to have children.

Genesis 1:28a - “God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it”

Psalm 127:3-5 - “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord - the fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth - How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”

It's important for us to understand God's design for the home, beginning with male headship.

Ephesians 5:23 - “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church; He Himself being the Savior of the body.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 - “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

This isn't necessarily the case societally - whether it be in the business realm, government, the educational realm or the secular realm, in general.  But it is clearly God's design for both the home and the church.  Not that it’s wrong to have female leadership in certain capacities in the church (apart from being pastors, which Scripture speaks clearly to), as our women are gifted by God to do so and are called to serve; and sadly, many of our churches would fall apart without them.

Male headship has been largely ignored and abdicated in both the church and the home.  But for Christian husbands and fathers, this must not be the case.

Another example of male headship in the home (and its effects), comes from principles derived in Genesis 18:19… “For I have chosen him (Abraham), so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that  the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.”

Within this framework of headship in the home, we're going to consider what Scripture says about the man's role in His dealings with his wife… Ephesians 5:33a - “each individual among you also is to love his own wife, even as himself”.  Colossians 3:19 - “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.”

Understanding that the husband-wife relationship is the foundation of a healthy home (under the headship of Christ), let's consider for a moment the wife’s role in the home… Colossians 3:19 - “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”  Ephesians 5:33b - “...the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

In considering some parenting roles which are being addressed to fathers, who bear the primary responsibility in the home when it comes to disciplining children (although in principle, this can be paralleled to mom’s who are under their husband’s headship, or who are single parents), we read in Ephesians 6:4 - “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  Colossians 3:21 - “Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart.”

Proverbs 13:24 - “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who  loves him, disciplines him diligently.”. Proverbs 29:17 - “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul.”  Proverbs 19:18 - “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”  Proverbs 23:13+14 - “Do not hold back discipline from the child - although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.  You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.”

Proverbs 22:6 - “Train up a child in the way he should go - even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Concerning our children who are still at home and under their parent’s guardianship, Colossians 3:20 tells us - “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” 

Ephesians 6:1+2 - “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” 

Matthew 15:4 (Jesus was confronting the Pharisees and Scribes hypocrisy concerning how they dealt wickedly and neglectfully with their parents, as he said) - “For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’, and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’” 

Proverbs 6:20-23a - “My son, observe the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck.  When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you.  For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light”.

Deuteronomy 6:6+7 - “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your sons, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie-down, and when you rise-up.” 

Psalm 103:17+18 - “But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children - to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts, to do them.”

Joshua 24:14+15 (Joshua, near his death, said) - “Now, therefore, fear the  Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.  If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Psalm 103:13 - “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”